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601
(Tibbo) I'd like to use this planet we just found for our new civilization.
(Zilfer) It's excellent, but it's part of a 30-planet solar system.
(Zilfer) Their astrologers are going to go bananas.
602
Tibbo: Zilfer, does our new civilization like their planet?
Zilfer – They love it. Especially the ring that's around the planet.
Zilfer – they think of it as a permanent rainbow in the sky. [image of thick rainbow]
603
(Teg) Flossie, is Earth's sun in a constellation, as seen from Arcturus?
Flossie: Yes.
Teg – What do the Arcturians call that constellation?
Flossie: The Ostrich.
604
(Flossie) This planet I found is ideal for life, but it has seven equally-spaced moons.
[picture of planet with 7 moons]
(Scoot) Cool. So there will always be a full moon sometime during the night?
Flossie: Not necessarily.
605
(Flossie) Zilfer, how's your new civilization working out?
(Zilfer) Not well. Their planet's year is only 50 days long.
(Zilfer) Summer lasts for 12 days. And they don't like one-day vacations.
(Flossie) But they probably love living to be 400.
606
Flossie: My new planet’s civilization wanted a change of seasons, so I tilted the planet’s axis 25 degrees
Quark: And are they liking it?
Flossie: Now they’re complaining that Orion isn’t in the same place in the sky at 9 pm year round any more.
607
(Scoot) That galaxy looks promising for my new life forms.
(Zilfer) I did a drive-by in it. It has about 65 million stars. Of those stars, 7 million have solar systems.
(Zilfer) Of those, three thousand have planets with liquid water, an atmosphere and a mild temperature.
(Zilfer) Of those planets, one has a rotational period between 8 and 64 hours...
(Scoot) I call dibs on it!
608
Q: If we lived on a planet in the Pleiades star cluster, one of those stars would be our sun.
Q: What would the other stars of the cluster look like to us?
A: Small but very bright lights in the sky, visible day and night.
Q: How bright?
A: Maybe like moonlight on earth. And they would always stay in the same places relative to your sun.
609
(Man) Our ancient ancestors went to that star one time. There's pictures in the family scrapbook.
(Boy) That must have been an awesome trip.
(Man) The story is the little girl kept saying "Are we there yet?"
610
(Quark) One of your seeding planets is in the solar system of Arcturus, which is a large red star.
(Boy) What is it like living there?
(Quark) It's like looking through rose-colored glasses all the time.
611
(Man 1) That planet doesn't rotate. It has continuous daylight for half the year, and continuous night for the other half.
(Man 2) My teenager would kill for that plan.
612
(Man 1) That planet's period of rotation is the same as its revolution time around the sun.
(Man 1) It's similar to our moon - its rotation and revolution times are the same.
(Man 1) If you live on the sunlit side of that planet you never have night. Its day is the same as its year.
(Boy) Every day is your birthday!
613
(Quark) There a lot of spaceships around your planet now, from different places in the galaxy.
Q: Why are they here?
A: Everything from checking on your warmaking technology to hybridization programs.
A: And some are just tourists.
614
There is another reason these craft are being allowed into your skies.
They are intentionally letting themselves be seen as a way of expanding your awareness.
Q: Even though it causes a fear reaction in some people?
A: Over time, that fear will be replaced by acceptance. There's already less fear than in the last millenium.
615
Q: Is there some kind of galactic organization that is keeping us under quarantine?
A: Yes but it's to keep other influences out, not to keep you in. We don't want anything interfering with your self-directed progress.
A: We can't protect you from yourselves, but we can protect you from others.
616
Q: Where are all these space visitors from?
A: Sirius, Antares, Vega, the Pleiades, Orion...
A: Also Zeta Reticuli and Alpheratz, but those stars are in different sectors of the galaxy and their civilizations don't get along.
Q: So there's galactic cliques?
A: Yes.
617
Q: So there's other advanced life besides humanoids?
A: Yes, there's reptilians and insect-like beings, that are of similar size and consciousness as humans.
Q: Will we ever see them?
A: Yes, if you can overcome your fear of humans and bugs.
618
(Scoot) I thought that the residents of our new small planet would enjoy having low gravity. It's easier to carry things.
(Zilfer) But they don't?
(Scoot) No. Their golf balls all go into the next county.
619
(Zilfer) The universe is expanding at an ever-faster rate.
(Flossie) Good. Maybe we'll soon be out of range of those evil Sirians.
620
Child: Why are you going there?
Parent: We have to abduct a couple of humans and get some of their DNA.
Child: We want to come.
Parent: Not this time. There's a travel advisory in effect for that planet. Maybe next time, if the situation improves.
621
Reticulum alien: Welcome to the first monthly Milky Way Federation meeting.
Human: "Monthly" according to who? The next meeting is 3 of our days from now.
Cygnus alien: And what's the deal with the "yearly" constellation tax? Whose years?
622
Human: Earth's skies are getting way too crowded. Please stay home or go elsewhere for the time being.
Cygnus alien: For how long?
Human: Until the entire galaxy has rotated 30 degrees.
Cygnus alien: Will you still be there?
623
Alien 1: Why does sector 21 always lose?
Alien 2: They don't have a lot of talent to draw from. And they're not motivated.
Alien 1: Why don't they start their own "riffraff" league?
624
Alien 1: What happened to the Zorks?
Alien 2: They took a sight-seeing trip to the center of the galaxy. They ignored the warnings and got too close to the black hole.
Alien 1: Did they call the galactic rescue service?
Alien 2: They probably tried but the radio signal would have been trapped as well. It wouldn't have worked anyway.
625
Reticulum alien: Please everyone, don't ignore the warnings around the black hole at the center of the galaxy.
Reticulum alien: We've lost 8 ships already this month.
626
Human: I want to warn everyone about visiting Vulpecula. One of its stars is about to go supernova.
Spica alien: That's an Earth constellation. We don't have it in our night sky.
Human: The star is Delta Vulpeculi in our sky. Galactic coordinates 376.78.921 / 866.344.98 / 24.31.779.
Spica alien: Hold on, here it is. To us it's Beta Squirreli.
627
Alien 1: Andromedans are starting to move to our galaxy.
Alien 2: There goes the neighborhood.
628
Cygnus alien: Picnic at Antares Planet C on galactic date 64017:23:18. Bring pictures of your planet.
Draco alien: How big are the ants on that planet?
629
Antares alien: There are new guidelines for visiting Earth, a planet around the Sun. Observe but do not land and do not abduct.
Altair alien: Has the danger advisory been lifted?
Antares alien: You should be safe on a simple fly-by. But make sure to file your flight plan.
630
Hydrus alien: Gorbar, I see your galaxy has learned how to use wormhole technology for fast space and time travel.
Magellanic Cloud alien: How did you figure it out?
Andromeda alien: we went to the Pinwheel Galaxy and stole it from one of their laboratories.
Pinwheel alien: You could have just asked.
631
Alien 1: Andromeda's experiment with wormhole technology didn't end well.
Alien 2: What happened?
Alien 1: They connected the other end to the galactic black hole by mistake.
Alien 2: Wrong coordinates?
632
Alien 1: Where is that beautiful place?
Alien 2: It's in the posh sector 18 of the galaxy. It's planets are attractive, comfortable, and have plenty of fresh water.
Alien 2: You can see more pictures in "Galactic Living".
Alien 1: I want to live there.
Alien 2: You sure? Most of those planets have very high taxes. And they have two-party politics.
633
Perseus alien: Alice, your Earth's spiritual development has bogged down. Any way to give them a nudge?
Human: We have a great cheering squad going but you know we're not allowed to move the football.
Triangulum alien: You can turn on the stadium lights.
634
Alien 1: I wanted to know about advanced insect lifeforms on that planet, so I aked them about their mantissas.
Alien 2: No, that's logarithms. Ask them about their MANTISES.
635
[Galactic Nebula Awards]
Reticulum alien: I'm expecting this discussion to remain respectful. You turn, Orion.
Orion alien: I'm sure Vulpecula will find a way to insult Orion again.
Orion alien: Our entry is the Horsehead Nebula. It is the most iconic nebula in the Milky Way.
Vulpecula alien: From my star it looks more like the other end of a horse.
636
Vulpecula alien: Our entry is the Dumbbell Nebula.
Orion alien: Appropriately.
Vulpecula alien: It is beautiful and can be seen from most places in our Milky Way galaxy.
Vulpecula alien: Yes, it has an unseemly name, but it's better than Centaurus's Running Chicken.
637
Reticulum alien: The final nominees are the Ring in Lyra, as seen from Earth, the Helix in Aquarius, and the Soul and the Heart, both in Cassiopeia.
Cassiopeia alien: We're the heart and soul of the Milky Way.
638
Spica alien: Can you show us some pictures of nebulae in the Andromeda Galaxy?
Reticulum alien: Our telescopes here in the Milky Way are not powerful enough to see things clearly inside other galaxies.
Reticulum alien: Andromeda is more than 2 million light years away from us.
Cassiopeia alien: Can someone do a drive-by and take some pictures?
Reticulum alien: No, it's way out of range of any of our ships. Unless you do a wormhole.
639
Cssiopeia alien: What does Cassiopeia look like from Orion?
Orion alien: Your stars don't even form a constellation in our sky. They're too far apart.
Pleiades alien: But our Pleiades look like a tight cluster to everybody. Our stars are all less than 64 light years from each other.
Pleiades alien: And we're young as stars go. We weren't even born yet when Earth had dinosaurs.
640
Alien 1: This was supposed to be an easy trip out to the end of our galaxy arm.
Alien 1: I'm not recognizing any of these constellations.
Alien 2: You could have asked directions at Sagittarius.
641
Alien 1: Well be back home in 62 galactic days.
Alien 2: We haven't seen any stars in 3 days. Are you sure we're still in the galactic arm?
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